FYI: Five Tips To Enjoy Your 4th Of July While Annoying Your Communist Democrat Neighbors

(Mark Graves/The Oregonian via AP, file)

(PJ Media) If there was ever a holiday your commie sister-in-law and her man-bunned soi-boifriend hate it would be July 4th. As an American, a patriot, and a descendant of filthy colonizers, I take great pride in our nation. I also really enjoy annoying pinkos all weekend long and I invite you to do the same.

Here are some helpful hints on how to bother your local bolshies.


Tip #1: A “Happy Birthday America” Party

Long ago, while working in a New York City office, I wore a birthday hat all day at work on Christmas Eve Day. The Christians got it and were tickled. When my liberal co-workers asked whose birthday it was, I said, “It’s Jesus’ birthday.” They got really annoyed. That’s when it hit me: liberals are peeved when we celebrate all the things they hate, like Jesus and America.

I highly recommend a “Happy Birthday America” party. Decorate your yard as liberals would for their child’s birthday bash. I buy the same birthday hats they buy for their children of yet-to-be-decided gender. Put signs on your lawn. Don’t be shy. Its YOUR house.


(Image credit: Kevin Downey Jr.)

Tip #2: Get Yourself an American Flag

Nothing sets off a pinko like Old Glory. Flags are like sunshine to vampires Pelosi. I have one in my car so that passing commies will feel the pain. You can put a flag on your social media profiles too. It will keep Marxists from posting stupid things on your Facebook page like “Happy Native American Desecration Day.”

Remember what I said about hijacking the liberals’ rituals. Look, I’m doing it again.


Tip #3: BBQ Animals

This is important. You MUST BBQ at least three species. Many liberals only eat “food” meant for rabbits, and are easily repulsed by the sweet, lofting scent-sation of beef, pork, and chicken being grilled. It took mankind, (yes, I said mankind, suck on that too, libs!) many years to rise to the top of the food chain. Don’t be shy, eat everything you can before Bidenflation has us all eating Alpo. Bonus points if you shot or caught dinner yourself.

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