While patriotic Americans are going to church, sparking up the bar-b-que, or having a cigar and a bourbon while watching the eliminated Red Wings lame-duck their way through their final games (ahem), liberal “men” are crying off last night’s mascara as their pansexual “partners” read aloud the latest headlines from the American Revolution 2.0.
Headline 1 — “Spotify Cans Mr. and Mrs. Obama”
Barack and Michelle Obama have been kicked to the curb by Spotify. This means that no one was listening to America’s first affirmative action president and his partner in crime as they tried to crank out podcasts. Joe Rogan, however, is rock solid and will continue his show.
Spotify customers aren’t the only people not listening to Obama. Since 2014, Obama has endorsed 786 candidates and 337 have lost. Compare that to Trump’s score of 137 endorsements with only three losses.
The writing is on the wall for the Obamas: go to one of your four homes and shush in solitude. No one cares what you have to say.
Headline 2 — “CNN+: The Premature Ejaculator of News Apps”
Lasting as long as Jeff Toobin on a Zoom call, CNN + is finished in record time.
Despite bringing the
big guns small arms like Chris Wallace, CNN+ will have lasted a month and a day. Execs at CNN somehow thought they could get people to pay a streaming fee for a news outlet that no one watches for free. The pedo-hiringnetwork’s ratings are down 80% in 2022. CNN attempting a streaming subscriber service is like charging an absentee dad to visit his kid — if he won’t show up for free, he sure won’t pay to do it.