(PM.) Ahead of April Fools Day on Saturday, a billboard has popped up along I-35 south of Forth Worth featuring an advertisement for a fake airline company “Stopwoke Airlines,” mocking woke companies like Southwest Airlines.
The billboard, featuring the tag phrase “Bringing San Francisco’s baggage to Texas non-stop,” features satirical depictions of Southwest Airlines CEO Robert Jordan, and Board of Directors members David Biegler, Nancy Loefler, Gary Kelly, and Veronica Biggins dressed in flashy drag attire.
Behind it is an anonymous group calling itself “Shut up And Fly”. They are demanding that airlines pay more attention to landing signals instead of virtue signals.
The billboard includes a website, southwoke.com, which includes a message from the CEO, customer testimonials, and blog posts announcing various appointments to positions and accomplishments by the fake airline. Also included is a mockup of what Southwoke’s airplanes look like, complete with a tail covered in the gay pride flag.
The website features several slogans, including “you’re now free to move about your gender,” “we bring woke values to Texas,” “we held Texas become a second California,” and “an airline that’s inclusive of everyone but you.”
The satirical message from the CEO Bob Jordan, who has “He/Him/Two Spirit” pronouns listed, begins by saying, “Here at Southwoke, we’re fully committed to DEI, ESG, LGTBQ+, BLM, BIPOC, Allyship, #MeToo and every other trendy woke acronym or hashtag you can think of.”
“In fact, we’re so committed that we want to import those same values from other woke meccas like San Francisco and Portland to right here, deep in the heart of Texas – the stolen lands of the Caddo, Wichita, and Comanche people.”
The message continues on to state that while the fake airline is based in Texas, “we have become California’s ‘unofficial airline,'” linking to a New York Times article about Southwest Airlines by a similar title.
Jordan continued on to “promise to bring those woke values” to Texas, including accommodating work schedule changes for employees looking to participate “in leftist political activism,” and investing in DEI, ESG, BLM, LGBTQ+ initiatives “even when it hurts,” “That may mean we have to delay investments in things like flight scheduling hardware upgrades, but we believe signaling our woke virtues is that important.”
“We promise to do this, even if it risks the cancellation of tens of thousands of flights over important holidays such as Christmas or New Year’s. Southwoke believes all Americans have to make sacrifices to protect woke values, and sometimes that includes our customers,” the message continues, adding that the fake company values hiring not employees that are most qualified, but rather those that are “historically marginalized.”
“That’s why we have promised to lower our standards in the way we hire, train, discipline, and promote workers in order to benefit those employees that best represent, not the most qualified, but instead the incredible diversity rainbow,” the CEO stated.